A Great Idea That Didn’t Work

While writing some of my most recent blogs I got a brilliant idea. I would pick a date to start a project. Then give myself a limited but reasonable amount of time to finish. This would allow me to rest between projects thus acknowledging my limited, human, capacity (Infinitely Finite). It also works with the cyclical nature of life (That Old Cyclical Feeling).  If I could just tap into my obsessive compulsive tendencies for that brief period of time then I could make some progress (A Slob w/ OCD).


My first project was to complete my IDP for my second job. I gave myself two weeks to do it. The start date came and I was ready to succeed. I worked a couple days and then life got to hectic (24/7 World).  Next thing I knew the completion date was past and I wasn’t even close to done. I tried to break for awhile and then picked another start and finish date. Those dates came and went and I was still not done.

It was such a good idea. Why didn’t it work? First, I think it was not accepting my limits. I have a job, a child and a wife. I’m trying to get in cycling shape, learn the piano, and read one book a month. One answer may be to give up something, but I don’t know what. All of that is very important to me. Second, I think it’s the same old thing. I can’t focus for extended periods of time on one thing (My Mom Thinks I’m Lazy).

It saddens me to say I’ll have to throw the idea of a start/finish date out. No matter how good the idea if it doesn’t actually accomplish the goal it has to be discarded. It was a great idea though.

My Autobiography

I got Craig Ferguson’s autobiography American on Purpose for Christmas. I read it in three days. It was fast, fun and highly entertaining. While reading it I started to think what my own autobiography would be like. I would title mine “Bill Page: A Man without Intention.”
Looking back over my life my choices seem more of a reaction than a goal focused plan. I went to college because I was smart and that’s what smart people do. I had no idea what college entailed or why I needed to go. I chose Architecture because I couldn’t think of anything better to do. I took a job in Architecture and moved to Fort Worth because I was sick of working at Target. It was something to do while I figured out what I wanted to be when I grew up.

The first time I can say I did anything on purpose was when I moved to Austin. I had been visiting Marc and Anna every few months there and just loved the City. I still do. Best thing I ever did. After that there wasn’t much intention either.

If I asked my eighteen year old self what I would want to be doing when I was thirty-six I’m pretty sure I’d say married with children and living in a big city. So, this blog leaves me with two questions. Am I any different than most other people, and does it matter. I’m happily married with a wonderful daughter and another baby on the way. It would seem I have gotten where I wanted to go.

That Old Cyclical Feeling

We are finite beings that cannot thrive in a 24/7 world. No matter how much we would like it to be otherwise it’s just the way it is. This is best illustrated in the fact that we live our lives in cycles. Spring follows winter. Then summer, fall and winter again. The moon waxes from full to nothingness and back again. On a personal level we sleep each night to wake refreshed, hopefully, each morning. Creative ideas are plucked out of the air like apples from a tree one day, and the next we only increase the depth of the divot in the couch.

Anyone that follows my blog will know I am completely at the mercy of these tidal forces. The creative energy flows in and I write. Out and I twitter away my time. I am learning though, if slowly. Rather than fight my inherit nature I am have accepted reality and am studying my patterns. In the hope that I can determine how to sustain the high times a bit longer so my life does not end as a hodgepodge of unfinished projects.

Wish me luck…