Victory Is Mine!

I’m pretty hard on myself in this blog. Which is most likely a symptom of the human condition combined with my own wiring and upbringing. I’m going to take a break from that for a minute and say yea me! In a major personal victory I got the truck in the garage the other day. Another yea me is that I really feel like I’m transforming myself bit by bit. I’m fixing my negatives and getting to know my inner workings. Most of it I write right here in the blog and I hope whoever is reading is enjoying and maybe just maybe getting something out of it.

Flower Girl

Not the best video but it gives you a taste of how cute she was as flower girl. At the beginning of the video she walks past the aisle. Before she comes down the aisle she stops and puts the flower pedals she threw while she was going the wrong way back in the basket.

My Mom Thinks I’m Lazy

(Hi Mom, I love you) The other day my Mom said I could work hard and focus when I want to, but otherwise I’m lazy. She’s right the fact is I just don’t get things done. Examples? The garage. The shelves Dad and I built for Mackenzie’s room are still not painted. The kitchen is not organized to my liking. Photo albums of Mack are not made. I could go on and on. Pretty easy to see what Mom said is related to some of my most recent blogs.

From the outside looking in I can see why someone would think that I’m lazy, but I think it is more complicated than that. To start with the definition of lazy from dictionary.com is, “Averse or disinclined to work, activity, or exertion.” That isn’t me at all. All I do is work. I’m always moving, doing, straightening, cleaning, writing, playing w/ Mack or reading. The only time I rest is when I’m sleeping. I don’t even watch that much TV. I do play on the Internet and Facebook a lot though, but that is still doing something.

Maybe it’s a question of focus not effort. Outside of work I do not stay on task, and you could make an argument that I don’t at work either. I am bouncing around almost constantly. Touching this or that task/project only briefly and moving on to the next before any one is complete. Leaving a million different things half finished, barely started or still in conception in my wake.

The other half of this question is when something has to be done. I am an obsessed terror that cannot let it go for even a moment. I’ll work day and night nonstop. This has become a very rare condition in recent years. The problem is it has to be a real deadline. I can’t fake it. If I know it’s an arbitrary deadline I will work hard but it will not trigger my obsession. So most likely I will not finish on time. I’ll get closer though than if I had not set the deadline. So recently I have been trying this technique to some success. The garage is moving closer to clean. Of course I have a real deadline there as well as some arbitrary internal ones. The truck is coming November 7th.

Got a Little Story for Ya Ags!

To put the story that follows in context I have to let everyone know I’m Texas A&M Class of ’96 (graduated Christmas ’97 on the 5½ year plan).

The t-sip shirt my daughter is wearing in the pictures below was in a bag of clothes a friend of ours was nice enough to give us for Mackenzie. When Kay came across the shirt I naturally said we should give that one to Goodwill. Kay being a good wife agreed wholeheartedly and put the shirt back in the bad to be discarded in a manner befitting it at some later point in time.

Next morning I’m getting ready for the day when Mack finds the bag of clothes and the shirt. For whatever cosmic twist of fate she takes right to that shirt and wants to wear it to daycare. I dodge that bullet by telling her it’s dirty and we’ll have to wash it first.

Next scene. I’m home probably facebooking on the computer in the bedroom when I hear Kay come home with Mack. Before I can get out to the living room I hear Kay tell Mack that you’ll have to ask Daddy about that. When I come into the living room Mack is holding the shirt and Kay says she wants to wear it. What am I going to do here Aggies? Am I an ass and deny my little girl the simple act of wearing a shirt that she has no real idea what it is. I could be. Yes I could. No, I couldn’t. This girl has me wrapped around her finger like any daddy’s girl worth her salt. So, enjoy my Texas friends. I’m sure it won’t be the last time you see her in this shirt.

Thomas Sowell Quote

After political crusades for "affordable housing" ended up ruining the housing market and much of the economy with it, many of the same politicians are now carrying on a crusade for "affordable health care." But what you can afford has absolutely nothing to do with the cost of producing anything. Refusing to pay those costs means that you are just not going to continue getting the same quantity and quality-- regardless of what any politician says or how well he says it.

A Fish in the Hand...

If you give a man a fish he will have food for a day.
If you teach a man to fish he will have food for a lifetime.
If the man catches three fish and you take two why would he keep catching three fish?

We’re Living in a 24/7 World

I think part of my problem that I’ve been exploring in some recent blogs is that every modern person and I live in a twenty-four hour a day seven days a week world. 24/7 is good for a pancake house, but not so good for a person.

We are ignoring the biblical concept of the Sabbath when we do not stop and take time to rest and restore ourselves. We think that the Sabbath is for God, but the worship of God is not the only purpose. The need for restoration is a fundamental part of our nature. We have to realize and accept this about ourselves.

It seems counterintuitive but I believe if we break one day a week we can do eight days of work in the six we have. The same goes for the day. Work nine hours with a one hour break and most likely you will do what you could in 10 hours straight.
This is not something I’ve proven experientially so I’ve been testing the concept out lately to limited success. Not limited in its results so much as limited in my success at implementing a Sabbath. The results are always very good when I can actually implement it. So I will keep trying to stop my mad mad life and rest (in the Lord).

Answered Prayer Doesn’t Always Look Like What You Expected

Since becoming a Christian I have always heard that God often answers prayer in a way that is entirely different than you expected. I have never had any experience with this up until last week. Actually I can’t say that God ever answered one of my prayers in a way that I recognized. Mind you it’s not surprising given my hap hazard prayer life.

The last few weeks have been different. I can’t say that my actual voiced prayers were any better [I suppose that doesn’t matter though. It’s not like prayer is some kind of magic system to get what you want], but my heart was really in it. My primary client Motel 6 has been starting to come back to life after a summer of no work, and I really did not want to do it again. I’ve spent the summer working on “real” projects and I’ve come to realize I really like Architecture. I love building sections and details in particular, but plans and elevations are good too.

I was very upset about Motel 6 and I was praying to God for deliverance. As I said not very focused prayer, but my heart was aching for this. In my mind [hope my partners don’t read this one] the only deliverance was finding a new job. A daunting task in this economy, but I thought with God’s help anything is possible. Then last Monday God delivered me without having to change jobs. The vice president in charge of our projects at Motel 6 decided that he wanted the woman that does the permitting for us to be the primary contact with Motel 6. So while I will still be working on Motel 6 it won’t be nearly as consuming as it has been. Thanks be to God!

Permanent Vacation…

is one of my favorite Aerosmith songs, but I know my vacation from myself will not be permanent. I can already feel it coming to an end. However, I haven’t really dealt with the issues that caused me to want to break from my normal mode of thought. How long can you fight your inherent nature?

I believe people can change. I know I can. It takes clear vision intention and means (hat tip Dallas Willard). Sometimes it takes God intervening. It can be done though.

What is it exactly that needs to change? Is the problem that I don’t accomplish enough? That seems a fairly shallow problem. Is the problem my house, garage, office and car are all messy? In the grand scheme of things is this really a problem? Is the problem I don’t go where I want to go and I’m living a reactionary instead of intentional life? Now that sounds like we’re getting somewhere.

Taking a Vacation from Myself

I am constantly under pressure. My IDP needs to be done. The garage has to be cleaned up so I can get the truck down here. That novel isn’t going to write itself is it? When’s the last time I blogged? What did that guy say in line? If only I knew Spanish.

I’ve been struggling with this same issue for years and all this internal pressure hasn’t helped one bit. Exhibit A: my office and garage. So I decided a couple weeks ago to stop pressuring myself. So every time I think of something that I just have to do or a project I would love to do I say to myself not right now I’m on vacation.

From the outside it probably looks like nothing changed. I’m still doing what I’ve been always been doing. The garage is no closer to being clean but my job is going well and Mackenzie is well taken care of. The difference is internal though. I feel more at ease and I’m breathing a little easier. It’s been nice.

This too will pass though. Can’t be on vacation forever.

Luke 18:9-14

To some who were confident of their own righteousness and looked down on everybody else, Jesus told this parable: "Two men went up to the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector. The Pharisee stood up and prayed about himself: 'God, I thank you that I am not like other men—robbers, evildoers, adulterers—or even like this tax collector. I fast twice a week and give a tenth of all I get.' "But the tax collector stood at a distance. He would not even look up to heaven, but beat his breast and said, 'God, have mercy on me, a sinner.' "I tell you that this man, rather than the other, went home justified before God. For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, and he who humbles himself will be exalted."

I like Beer!

Brian from my office has inspired me and I’ve been trying some new beers lately. I was going to write reviews of each of them, but I find there are only so many things I can say about beer. I either like it or I don’t. So I’m just going to post pictures of all the beers I’ve tried. I also added them to my beer list spreadsheet which has some notes about each beer. So a sort of mini review of each beer.

Enjoy and have a beer!

I Think My Paradigm Just Shifted

After I wrote “Church of Death” Kay asked me if this changed my opinion about re-marrying. I have always said that I would not marry again if something happened to Kay. I have loved many women in my life, but I have never loved anyone even remotely like I love Kay. I hate that Jerry Maguire line - “You complete me” - but I can see where they are coming from. So while I’ve never believed there is only one person for each of us I never really saw a need to marry again since I’m so fulfilled with this relationship. However, taking into consideration what God showed me I have to leave room for the possibility of remarrying. Don’t want that to happen. I’m praying we both hang out in this plane of existence for another good sixty years though.

Full Moon upon the Water: My Tattoo

I got the idea for my tattoo from The Tao of the Jump Shot by John Fitzsimmons Mahony and Bill Walton. Their chapter The Moon in the Water had an image of the Chinese characters for moon and water. I had always wanted to get a tattoo and had been looking for something to go on both sides of my ankle. It was perfect and the meaning was good too. The chapter focused on being in a state of readiness in life and while playing basketball. When the moon appears in the sky the water reflects it instantly just as it is. Over time I felt the meaning was to see life as it is not how you want it to be.

After I got the tattoo I found the following poem.

Each night, I gaze upon a pond,
A Zen body sitting beside a moon.
Nothing is really there, and yet
It is all so clear and bright.
I cannot describe it.
If you would know the empty mind,
Your own mind must be as clear and bright
As this full moon upon the water.

--Chiao Jan

It kind of says the same thing, but has more depth to it in a very Buddhist kind of way.

I was twenty-seven when I got my tattoo. At thirty-two I became a Christian. Even though I had changed my entire philosophy on life I never regretted (and still do not) having my tattoo. It serves as a reminder to me and an illustration to others of where I came from and how I got to where I am with Jesus. It has opened many doors to have conversations about God with people.

While reading the poem above the other day I realized it has a similar feel to my favorite verse in the bible.

Be still, and know that I am God.
--Psalm 46:10

I believe all truth is God’s truth. That does not mean that there can be no truth outside of Christianity. I bow to your Buddha nature my fellow travelers. May God bless you and keep you.

The Church of Death

I attend Red River Church on 45th and Red River in Austin, TX. We have four elders Keith Atkinson, Wayne Brown, Jeff Bennighof and Wes Birdwell. Keith is the only one of the four that leads the church for a living. So in a way he is the leader of the church and the pastor.

When I met him he was married to a wonderful lady named Renee. Renee was literally a force for God. To our great loss she died from cancer a little over a year ago.

Keith has since found another wonderful lady named Melinda and is set to marry her on October 3rd. Too early? No, and let me tell you why.

This morning while meeting with Keith for our bible study I had a vision of what it would be like at our church if Keith did not re-marry. We would become the Church of Death. I saw a big black disgusting thing hanging over our church keeping us from being about life as God intend. God is of life not of death. So thanks be to Jesus that He has done this good work in Keith’s life and prepared him to marry a truly beautiful creation of God and bring life to our church.

Chipped Mug

There is a set of white porcelain coffee mugs at the office. I like to use the chipped one. I think it has more character than the rest.

The Eternal Being Within

I think my conclusion to my last blog “My New Theory on Aging” is just one more reason not to focus too much on the body. It is good to keep it up, but too much time spent on the body at the expense of the soul is wasted. The body will fail. It will turn to dust. The soul will live on forever. It is best to spend this life pointing it in a good direction.

There is a parallel here to my theory on children. In my opinion the first two years of a child’s life are the most critical. The things she experiences then are what form her into the person she will be. If a child did not start in the right direction in the first two years of life it will be difficult to almost impossible to turn her to the right direction. I believe this is the same with the soul. This life is the primary thing that forms our spirits. If we get through this life heading in the wrong direction we will continue that way possibility forever. So take this life seriously. We only have one chance to set our course.

Trader Joe's Bohemian Lager

This beer really wasn’t anything to write home about. Poured well, but it was lighter than I expected. Being called Bohemian I should have known it would be a pilsner. One of the best beers I ever had was a white beer I had when I was in Munich. Of course I didn’t know up from down when it came to beer so who knows if it was good. I imagine it was though since a German made us have it. Alas TJ’s Bohemian was not that good.

My New Theory on Aging

While at a nursing home in Cincinnati, Ohio I developed a new theory. As we age the work we have done on our spirit becomes more visible. If we have spent this life focused on what is eternal in us we will grow in peace, love and joy. If we have not nurtured our souls we will grow in anger, hatred, and bitterness.

In both nursing homes I have frequented I have seen a great deal of anger in the residents. There are of course multiple reasons besides my theory that could explain this; loss of control over your own life, feeling deserted and alone, physical factors such Alzheimer’s, a life filled with never met expectation.

As with everything in life the truth here is most likely a warm fuzzy shade of grey. I think the spirit is a large factor though and should be considered as we travel through life. A well formed spirit would definitely help us in tough times and as we draw closer to the end of our lives. Have you exercised your soul today?

How Instead of Why

My counselor always said that when looking at yourself it is better to ask how than why. Why is an unanswerable question. It also has no meaning. Who cares why you behave a certain way. What do you do that keeps leading you down the same path year after year?

When thinking about the subjects covered in my last blog “Begin Again” the question is not why I fail to meet my goals. The question is how I keep missing my goals. Or even better how do I reach my goals. How will lead you to solutions and positive change. Why will just lead you to self abuse and depression.

Why should be left to philosophizing about the nature of existence over a cold beer with good friends.

Begin Again

Life is a series of restarts. The most famous is of course the New Year. Each year we make resolutions to change this or that about ourselves. Set deadlines and goals for the year. I want to lose ten pounds by my birthday. I want to read a book a month. I want to whatever. This lasts maybe a month or two, three at most. Then we look up and we’ve gained a pound, and read one book. So we begin again. I don’t understand why we do this, but it is definitely part of human nature.

We expect continuous effort from ourselves, but we are not programmed that way. Life is cyclical. The sun rises and sets. Seasons pass in the same order each year. We are not separate from this. We would be better off if we accepted our nature and worked with it instead of against it. For myself I think that the shorter my restart cycles the better. That is the closest I can get to a continuous effort.

I am using the vacation we just finished as a restart point. I had time in the car to collect my thoughts. The first five months of 2009 unfolded pretty much like it always does for me. I got distracted by the immediate tasks at hand and missed my goal. Then I moved the goal to later in the year. I know how to break this trend, but it will take focus, effort and I have to remember that each morning is a chance to start again.

The Familiar

The not so deep dark secret of why Generica works is that we (or at least most) love the familiar. Even I who embraces the different and eclectic find the familiar very comforting. I walked into a Starbucks on the corner of Sawmill and Powell in Columbus, OH last week on our vacation and instantly felt at home. I was completely at ease. I was surrounded by a bunch of Midwesterners ordering their double tall soy lattes with indie music playing in the background. A tall young man with a goatee greeted me with a how ya doin. I responded with a predictable still asleep need my coffee joke and the dance was complete. Does the fact that I find comfort in this environment make me somehow less human or more?

What Did We Learn On the Show Tonight Bill?

We learned that I –like most people- think I can do more in a given time than is actually possible. This was not a complete shock since the whole point of my blog on Wednesday was that I try to do too much. While I wrote the list I was never planning to do all that. I was going to try to stay focused on the garage and my IDP documentation. I was somewhat shocked on how little I did get accomplished though.

I made a good initial stab at the garage. I built two work benches. One bench is so Kay won’t have to bend over to feed the dogs, and the other is to work on bikes. This involved a substantial amount of cleaning/moving around just to get to the area I wanted to build the benches at. However, there is not any significant change in the amount of crap in the garage. It looks like I didn’t do much of anything in three days. I’ll give myself a C+ though.

I finished both 1998 and 1999 on my IDP. I was hoping to get through both CMA and O’Connell Robertson in the three days, but that would be the start of 2003. Not quite there.

If I’m honest with myself I have to admit I never thought I could finish both the IDP documentation and the garage clean up in three days. I was hoping to get a little farther, but the main point of my mini-vacation was to get started on both. So while I didn’t do all I had hoped for I’m off to a good start.


I graded myself just for funsies.
Clean the garage (C+)
Document all of my IDP (C-)
Install the second toilet (C) - I picked up a replacement for the one I cracked.
Mow the yard (F) – Not terrible since I was always planning to do this Saturday morning.
Finish Kay’s plant protection screen (F)
Vacuum the house (F)
Clean off the back porch (F)
Clean the kitchen (B+)
Clean up the dog poop (F)
Smoke a cigar each day (F)
Give the dogs a bath (F)
Write blogs(A-)
Go to a coffee shop (F)
Read the Bible (C) – Read the Bible once in three days
Pray (C) – Sat down and prayed once in three days
Bible Study (F)
Clean the big closet out so I can put the file cabinets in the garage in there (F)
Catch up on laundry (A)
Take a bike ride (F)
Run at Walnut Creek (F)

Is that a Spade?

A few weeks ago I called someone out for being a professing Christian but not having Christ in his heart. I didn’t say this to the actual person. I’m not so solid in my faith that I feel I have the right to correct people yet. At four years a Christian I feel I am still learning and developing my relationship with Jesus. I am a child in Christ. It’s not my place to correct people that have been Christian’s for twenty years. The other probably more dominant reason is that I don’t know that I have the guts to do that (yet).

This issue came up in conversation with someone else. The reason I said that this person did not have Christ in his heart is because he has not forgiven - and according to the person I was talking to never will – someone for a incident that happened well over a year ago. If I’m sure of anything about Christianity it is that grace and forgiveness flow freely from Jesus. He calls us to forgive everyone for everything. Some may say that the person who is in the wrong has to ask for forgiveness first, but I think that is wrong. Jesus is actively seeking us. He wants nothing more than to forgive us. There is a big difference between Jesus forgiving us when we accept Him and a human being holding onto their resentment while they wait for someone to right a real or supposed wrong.

I felt somewhat bad for calling this person out. As noted above I’m a very young Christian. What do I know? Sometimes I think you have to call a spade a spade though.

Correction

Apparently I don't know my own truck. She's a 1970 Dodge not a 1974. I thought my parents bought it two days before I was born, but that was the blue Charger my Mom drove when we were kids. That's right my Mom is so cool she drove a Charger while raising three boys.

Just too much

I have the next three days off. I’m taking a mini-vacation while my client is on vacation. I need some time to work on cleaning my garage and documenting my IDP hours. The garage because I want to get my Dad’s 1974 Dodge truck down here before he decides I’m never going to get it and takes it to the scrap yard (btw I don’t think he ever will, but just in case). I need to work on my IDP because apparently there is a July 1 deadline to document your hours or you lose them all. There may be some exceptions to that, but it’s about time I did it anyway.

Thinking about this time off I’ve had all kinds of thoughts of other stuff I’d like to do. I am starting to appreciate life’s limits though and at least realize I always try to do too much. I just can’t help it though. So while I watch last night’s Craig Ferguson I’m going to write a list of all of the things I’d like to do while I’m off.

Clean the garage
Document all of my IDP
Install the second toilet
Mow the yard
Finish Kay’s plant protection screen
Vacuum the house
Clean off the back porch
Clean the kitchen
Clean up the dog poop
Smoke a cigar each day
Give the dogs a bath
Write blogs
Go to a coffee shop
Read the Bible
Pray
Bible Study
Clean the big closet out so I can put the file cabinets in the garage in there
Catch up on laundry
Take a bike ride
Run at Walnut Creek

Does anyone else think like this? I hope everybody doesn’t. It kinda sucks. It’s not even remotely realistic to think I could get all of that done in the next three days. I’ll post this weekend about what actually got done.

She Speaks!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qgpTTpQ4QD4

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JoDp8ZgCHdY

Easter Pics

Finding Balance

Why is it so hard to find balance in life? What is it about the human condition that makes us go to extremes in one area and then ignore another almost completely? For example the classic struggle of working too much and ignoring your family’s needs. That is certainly one of my struggles.

Is it that we try to do too much? Is the equation more complicated than twenty-four hours minus sleep minus family minus work? Do we try to add more things? For myself I try to add cycling, writing this blog, Facebook, reading, television, church, friends. Don’t forget about house work, yard work and our budget.

We do not accept the limits that life and God have put on us. We think we are supermen and women. We are not. We can only do so much in the twenty-four hours of each day. Contrary to popular belief we can’t really multitask either. In any specific moment you can only do one thing. We can change between tasks rapidly, and I am a master of this. Fundamentally though I am only doing one thing at a time.

I don’t like it, but I think the answer to finding balance is cut. Cut everything that isn’t really important. Figure out what matters and focus on that. Also, don’t try to do too much in those areas. For example, cycling and being in shape is important to me. Is it important that I race though? Not really. I’m raising a child and have a demanding job. Now is not the time to spend twenty plus hours on the bike. I can ride and be in decent shape though.

My answer - accept our limits.

Why I’d Rather Drive Our Beat-up Pickup than a Jaguar

Let me start by saying that if I had more money I’d probably have a nicer car. I’m not so disconnected from the American state of mind that I can say that kind of thing is beneath me. I probably wouldn’t get a Jaguar, but definitely something like an Audi or Mercedes.

That being said, I really like driving our ’97 red Ford pickup.

I saw a Jaguar parked at the very end of the HEB parking lot the other day. Probably five spaces surrounding it were empty. Obviously the driver had parked that far away to protect the car. By driving the truck I avoid this completely. I don’t have to worry about someone dinging the old truck. It’s already beat to hell. Both sides have heavy damage from where Kay ran it into the concrete barrier in her parking garage. Then I made it worse by grinding it on a tree in front of Mackenzie’s daycare. It’s just a means of transportation. It’s not a precious thing that I have to baby.

All that and for some reason I like the image of myself (the business professional) getting out of a beat up red Ford. It’s just cool to me. Especially when I’m in a shirt and tie.

My Path to God

I've been away for awhile because I've been addicted to facebook. If you’re not on it you should check it out. It’s pretty awesome. Anyway, while talking to a friend of mine from when I was seven or so I wrote the following. Thought I would post it here because it is related to my typical blog topic. I gave short service to a few things toward the end - namely Kay’s contribution to my conversion, but the email was getting pretty long. bp!

As is often the case when dealing with God my path was long and winding. I started with the modern paradigm of secular humanism tinged with agnosticism and atheism. From there I turned east to Taoism and Zen Buddhism. And finally found God in charismatic Christianity.

When I was eighteen and heading off to college at A&M I was a devout atheist. I’m sure this had more to do with not being filled with the gospel in my youth than any conscious thought on my part. The secularist spirit of the day filled the spiritual vacuum formed during my upbringing. I’d say my belief at this point was that God was invented by man to explain things we could not understand thousands of years ago.

Even though I was an atheist I was still intrigued by the question posed by religion. So while in college I went to an atheist/Christian debate. Attended lectures on Islam - I knew more about Islam when 9/11 happened than your average citizen. Hung out with a Seventh Day Adventist and talked about the afterlife with a friend that was a Mormon.

My beliefs started to change when I was in Europe for a semester. There is a deep sense of the Spiritual you can feel in some parts of that land, and there was something magical about the gothic churches we toured. I had an epiphany while I was walking around Castiglion Fiorentino - the city we lived in. I was thinking about playing basketball with Marc Jenkins. I would post up on him. Then without looking toward the basket I would turn and fade. I could hit that shot most times back then and for me there was something divine in that moment. I felt I was tapping into something beyond myself.

Even though I now believed in the divine I didn’t go straight to Christianity. I ran the opposite direction actually. Mostly eastern thought I picked up from my brother Steve - Taoism and Zen Buddhism. I read Zen Mind Beginner’s Mind and was struck by how much wisdom Shunryu Suzuki had. So I was always looking for a place to practice Zen. It is one of the reason’s I moved to Austin. There is a very well established Zen group here that has a teacher directly in Suzuki’s line. So I practiced Zen off and on for a few years, and was still doing it while dating and marrying my wife.

In that same period of time I read the Bible from cover to cover with the Victory Reading Plan. I felt that I couldn’t say something was wrong that I had never read. So I was far from my atheist beginnings by this point, but not really ready to become a follower of Jesus. Then like most people I found Jesus at the end of my rope. I had a nervous breakdown six months after marrying my wife and starting a new job. I didn’t accept Jesus right then and there, but when I was in my darkest hour I called out to Him. Then over the next three to four month I slowly came to believe in Him and started to build my life on the rock.

Parenting

Our charge as parents is to raise a child
not make a friend.

Politicians Are Like Bad Parents

I’ve decided that politicians are like bad parents. They give “us” everything we want, and try there hardest to keep us from feeling any pain. They don’t want us to fail either. They are the ultimate helicopter parent. Always hovering around us making sure we are okay. When sometimes failure is what we need so we can learn. Just like a child in this situation we the American people are becoming spoiled and dependent. We can’t function in the world as adults. I do not exclude myself from this situation. In days gone by I would probably be in debtors’ jail for the amount of debt I’ve shelled off into the ether. What do we do with this? I don’t know, but I feel like it’s about to get worse.

Life is Hard

One of my favorite movie quotes of all time is from the Princess Bride. Wesley (still disguised as the Dread Pirate Roberts) says, “Life is pain, Highness. Anyone who says differently is selling something.” I usually change pain to hard, but the assessment is the same. It’s such a true statement that it has stuck with me for years.

I think the one truth in life no one can really argue with is that everyone has problems. Some are basic. Where is my next meal coming from? Some are more complicated. I have every worldly possession my heart desires, but I’m in a loveless marriage because I spent too much time working to get all those worldly possessions. Christian’s are not immune to these worldly problems either. Though some people (not necessarily Christians) think we should be. Jesus was very clear that it would be hard to follow him. See Luke 14:25-33 and Matthew 10:16-39. He was not selling something. He was speaking the truth.

This is all set up for two observations.

First, a lot of my prayer life is about deliverance. Fix this situation for me Lord. Save me. Lift this burden. Is that what God really wants to do though? Is that the point of life? I believe God is forming us into the image of His son through our experience in this life. Is it really beneficial for our problems to be resolved from on high? That being said the point is to rely on God. There is a balance here that I don’t know that I’ve achieved.

Second, in church last weekend while preaching Keith said, “We should be encouraged because God is with us.” This phrase really stood out to me. God is with us. Right here living our lives with us. If you’ll notice there is nothing in there about making things easier on us. Just that it will be okay because He is with us.

Life is hard then you die. Death is but a door. Let us walk through and meet our Lord on the other side.

My Girls

Random Question...

If I have a close personnel relationship with a being that knows all things do I by default know all things?

Workaholic

All I do is work. I sat down the other morning with Mackenzie to color and I thought, “Ooooh I can write a list of things I need to do at work. “ Sick. I decided to write this instead. So, the first draft of this blog was done in crayon.

Am I a workaholic? I certainly don’t feel like I am. I do enjoy working, but it’s not like I wouldn’t rather be doing something else. Slow walk in the park with Mack. Have a cup of coffee with Kay. Nice long bike ride. That’s just not the way I’m wired though. If I’ve got something that needs to be done I want to be doing it. I see this in my father a lot. It’s a general kind of restlessness when there are things (work) to be done.

This feeling goes away when I achieve what I call balance. That is a balance between having enough done to avoid being “yelled” at and actually being caught up completely. Balance is a state of being neither behind nor ahead. What I’m talking about isn’t a math formula. It’s not a list. I can mark any number of things off my to-do list and still not be balanced. The only way I can describe it is as an extremely complicated calculation that runs subconsciously in my head. It’s hard to predict when I will achieve balance. Mostly I just work straight through until it happens. If I do stop working I’m restless as I mentioned above.

The formula has become even more complicated lately as I’ve started to manage even more projects and people. Motel 6 has expanded from ADA work to include Technical Services remodels, and new construction. At any given time I will have five to ten people working for me and they will each be working on two to three projects at the same time. By the end of last week my brain was done and I literally ran out of the office on Friday. I thought if I can just get to the weekend I can reorganize and be ready to start again on Monday.

Is there a point to this blog? Not really. From the above I can draw one conclusion though. I was built to be a manager. I know that one of God’s purposes for making me the way I am was to manage and direct people. When I accepted this several months ago I got the distinct impression God was saying I would someday manage managers. I tried of my own efforts to achieve this prophecy, but only after I had given up and let life run its course did it get fulfilled. There’s a lesson there. I just hope I’ve learned it.

Psalm 1:3

Speaking of a righteous man Psalm 1:3 says,

“He is like a tree planted by streams of water
that yields its fruit in its season...”

These days we all want instant results and I am probably the king of that. We allow no time for process. This Psalm shows that is not the way the world works. It says yields fruit in its season not right after you plant it.

I see someone that wanted an apple planting a sapling hastily and expecting it to bear fruit right then and there. Ridiculous right? I’ll bet that most of us live that way though.