My Parenting Advice

My parenting advice is don't take any parenting advice.

That line always gets a laugh. I'm serious though. The most frustrating thing I found when I first became a parent was the shear number of differing opinions on every single aspect of parenting. You ask three people about a particular thing and it is highly likely you will get three completely different answers. A classic example that my wife and I still talk about. Before leaving the hospital with Mackenzie a nurse was instructing us on how to care for her umbilical chord. Keep it dry and if you want to clean it just use soap and water. Absolutely do not use alcohol to clean the chord. The very next nurse that came through the door told us to use a cotton ball with a little alcohol on it. We just looked at each other.

So for most stuff I say don't take advice. Just pick something and go with it. If it doesn't work try something else until you find what does. Don't fret about what is the right thing to do. There are a lot of right answers.

That being said I think there are a few things you should keep in mind while parenting.

First, do not show fear. Just like dogs children can sense fear and they will respond accordingly. Usually with a glass shattering round of tear filled crying. If you remain calm and in charge things will go much better. Do not panic. Also, do not be afraid you will break them. You won't. Trust me I've tried. I dropped my daughter on the hard concrete floor of a parking garage when she was three months old. When we got to see the doctor at the ER she was giggling and playing with his tie. He asked us if we were first time parents to which we sheepishly responded yes. So don't worry so much. Kids bounce pretty well.

Second, you have to make your yes mean yes and your no mean no. Every child that I have ever seen with a discipline problem had parents that would give in after a good fit. There can be no idle threats in parenting. If you say you will spank, turn off the TV, give timeout whatever if the child doesn’t do X you absolutely must follow through with it. Even if it causes things to get worse for awhile. It is absolutely critical. Just so you know I am not perfect in this. It's hard. I need to get better in this area.

Third, the biggest task in parenting after keeping them alive and healthy, which isn't as hard as you think, is to make sure the child knows they are loved. Love them with every ounce of your being. And show them this. However, that is for you. For me it is physical contact. I tackle my children with love. I wrestle constantly. If I am sitting or laying down there is typically a child on top of me. That is how I raised them and that is how I like it. They know they are loved.

Fourth, children will meet your expectations. So expect a lot from them. Expect them to behave, do good in school, make friend's whatever is important to you. They will live up to this. On the flip side if you expect them to misbehave they will oblige you. I can assure you of that. I heard a great example of this concept well before I had children. I don't remember where or who was talking, but I'll tell it like I do. A baseball player had gone to a prison on a volunteer meet the prisoners kind of thing. In the course of talking to a prisoner he said my dad always said I would end up being a catcher in the majors. The prisoner responded that he had ended up where his dad said too.

One last thing. In babies a fever is anything above 100.3. You'll need to know that.