Romantic Love Is Not Enough

If “Divorce Should Be Considered Murder” how do you stay married through all the ups and downs of life? For me it's because I was raised to believe divorce just isn't an option. Baring something tragic like Kay cheating on me – extremely unlikely - I will be married to her for the rest of my life. It's just stubbornness on my part. I'll do anything to stay married. Give up myself. Go to counseling. Whatever it takes I'm in this forever. It's hard though. Particularly when kids are involved. But that stubborn determination to stay married isn't enough. I could end up miserable if that was it. The ultimate answer is I love Kay. What is love though?

In the American vernacular love is intense liking. A romantic feeling that you fall in to. Romantic love will not make it through the long haul of marriage though. Romantic love does not get up at three A.M. to take care of the baby. It doesn't work a dead end job because it's the right thing to do. Romantic love is based on a feeling. Feelings come and go and come again. You will fall out of that kind of love.

The love that will see you through rich or poor is a choice.

It is a choice to put someone’s needs before your own. Their happiness is as important if not more important than your own. At the same time it is one giant choice and a series of choices. In the beginning you make the big choice to love a person. Then almost daily you have to choose to keep loving. Some days are hard. Some days are easy. You have to keep choosing to love though.

You might be asking how do you make the switch from romantic love to forever love. I'm afraid I can't answer that. I want to. I want a nice simple answer you can apply to each of your relationships. It's just too complicated for that. The factors are so large and complicated I don't think we can figure it out on a conscious level. Romantic love, physical attraction, compatibility and similar personal philosophies go in to it, and probably a million other things. As my mom told me long ago. You'll just know. Yea I know that answer sucks, but it's true. You have to trust yourself and look deep inside. I believe if you are honest with yourself you knew that each relationship that failed was going to.