I got laid off last week.
I got in touch with an old friend from college.
I'm trying to dig up projects for my side venture which I would like to be my
main source of income. She is a licensed Architect and has been working for the
same firm for upwards of ten years. Her husband has two vet clinics, a share in
a third and a high end pet supply store that will probably be franchised around
Texas in the next few years.
I have enough money to get through the end of the
month (*1).
I'm so not winning life.
How exactly do you win life though? What is the
metric of success? Money? Happiness? A close relationship with God? A wife, 2.5
children and a house in the suburbs? There are far too many factors in life for
a comparison to other people to be meaningful. Other people start from
different places, have different opportunities and made choices I would not
necessarily have made. The real question should be am I satisfied with my life.
Given my life circumstances have I lived life in a gratifying way?
At this point in my life I'm not sure about the
answer to that question. I've done a lot that I'm proud of and reached some of
my goals, but I still feel like there is more to do. There are the obvious
things like get my Architecture license, but there is something more. It may be
that I have not filled my creative potential. Or it might be that my
relationship with God needs work. The thing to remember is that life is a journey
and my trip is not over.
This blog reminded me of a favorite quote of mine
from Gandhi so I am going to tack it on the end.
"The goal
ever recedes from us. The greater the progress the greater the recognition of
our unworthiness. Satisfaction lies in the effort, not in the attainment. Full
effort is full victory."
(*1 This line was true when I wrote it, but now it
is not. Thanks be to God I picked up a contract job and we're doing better than
we have been in over two years. Praying it lasts.)
2 comments:
That first part made me sad... I hope you know winning is so much more than a trip to Hawaii. It came and ended. I hope the new job is long term, fulfilling and helps you move to where you want to be!
But my friend, you are not losing life. Hawaii, is only nice for a week. Its hard to see other things around you when the measure of a man is based on his job...and feel like you are struggling at that. But there is so much more...hearse's don't have luggage racks. My tombstone will not mention Hawaii, or my last quarterly budget number. I can tell you this...tonight I went through some old comics, and kept a lot..mainly because they remind me of simpler, fun time when we discussed the finer points of the Kin'jara (ms?), and if Storm should keep her Mohawk. Good memories. My goal...is to now create those in my kid....maybe that is winning?
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